well I can't set my house on fire every night
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
