It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
