mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
