Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
