ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
