I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
