you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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