i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
