i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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