I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
