new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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