you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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