I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
