from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
