Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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