I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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