God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
