Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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