How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
