**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
