Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
