That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
