I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
