He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She's the barista slut.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
