I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
