No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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