I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
