we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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