I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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