so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
