just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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