I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
