If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
we should paint friendship bongs
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
