It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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