so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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