i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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