All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
