i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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