Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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