Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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