my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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