The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
