I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
