Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
