Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
