And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
