lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
