SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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