Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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