At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
