took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
